  www.tabloid.net -- April 9, 1998 |
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LOS ANGELES (TABLOID NEWS SERVICES) -- Sexually ambiguous British pop weirdo George Michael is in hiding in Los Angeles today after being arrested by Beverly Hills cops for allegedly exposing himself to a police officer -- and the British press is having a blast back home. Even though they haven't been able to get in touch with the fabulously wealthy crooner -- who became a teen idol in the 1980s as the bouncing, boy-toy songwriter behind Wham! and marked his solo career with sex-obsessed hits like "I Want Your Sex" and "Father Figure" -- the press is thrilled by the allegation that Michael, a 34-year-old bachelor, was caught misbehaving in a public toilet. Beverly Hills police Lieutenant Ed Kreins refused on Wednesday to describe the charges other than to say Michael had been charged with "engaging in a lewd act" witnessed by an undercover officer in Will Rogers Memorial Park, reputedly a gay cruising area. But London's the Mirror was delighted to go further, reporting that Michael had "lured undercover vice cop into park toilet." There, according to the Mirror "they both sat in separate adjoining cubicles and Michael started to play 'footsie' with the officer under the partition. The officer then left his cubicle and looked round the corner and saw Michael committing an indecent act." The paper went on to claim that Michael wept as he was arrested. The paper quoted an unnamed "friend" of Michael as saying that he's locked away inside the massive L.A. mansion of gay record producer David Geffen, who is "helping him come to terms with the enormity of what has happened. George is staying at his house for the forseeable future." But however far the facts were stretched by the tabloids, they were dwarfed by the pages of comment on the story. Pop columnists, friends and fellow pop stars all lined up to give their personal insight into Michael's sexuality, to analyze his song lyrics for any clues, to review his career, and to marvel at his estimated $80 million fortune and his choice of partners and hairstyles over the years. The singer was variously said to be "shamed", "tortured", "stupid", "sordid", and "witty, compassionate and honorable ... and one of the nicest blokes that you could hope to meet." Boy George, former singer with Culture Club, consoled Michael with the thought that "we are all sisters under the skin." Female fans meanwhile were quoted as being shocked and dismayed by the realization that if Michael is gay, they haven't got a chance of living out their romantic fantasies with him. In the British press, paparazzi photos of Michael on dates with female models have been matched in frequency by pictures of him with male friends, including openly gay pop stars Elton John and Boy George. Public curiosity has only been spurred by Michael's fierce protection of his private life and control of his public image. The coverage on Thursday morning mirrored that devoted to the arrest of British actor Hugh Grant, who was caught in 1995 in the embrace of Los Angeles prostitute Divine Brown. Despite mountainous publicity, Grant's career scarcely took a dip and many pop commentators agreed Thursday that if anything Michael's arrest would only boost his record sales. (Agence France Presse contributed to this report.) |
TABLOiD'S VERY OWN CONSPiRACY
www.tabloid.net -- April 13, 1998 -- (shortened) |
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But back to the Conspiracy, and back to Tara, who wrote to annoy us with "messages of support" for George Michael, the now-openly-gay pop star who was disgraced by Beverly Hills cops last week in a public outhouse. Tara, nobody here could care less about your retarded campaign. The man was arrested, the story was funny, and that's about it. You must understand: The cliched lives of petulant pop-stars are not interesting to anyone but you and the rest of the crackpots who send messages to your ugly site. I barely cared enough about Mr. Wham! to write the damn headline for the arrest story. But thanks for taking part in the Conspiracy... |